


a distraction

by aesphantasmal



Category: The Penumbra Podcast
Genre: M/M, Other, i have no excuse for this i just blacked out and let my gay little hands do the work, some kind of historical au, the au only exists so i could write this homoerotic swordfight
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-13
Updated: 2020-07-13
Packaged: 2021-03-05 06:34:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,105
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25240111
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aesphantasmal/pseuds/aesphantasmal
Summary: "We really must stop meeting like this.""You." Juno sighed in frustration. The ‘nameless thief’ smiled, showing sharp teeth. “I should have guessed.”"We meet again, Captain Steel. I hope the Royal Guard is paying you overtime for this."
Relationships: Peter Nureyev/Juno Steel
Comments: 30
Kudos: 83





	a distraction

**Author's Note:**

> i blacked out for two days and i woke up with this written enjoy

"We really  _ must  _ stop meeting like this." 

"You." Juno sighed in frustration. The ‘nameless thief’ smiled, showing sharp teeth. “I should have guessed.”

"We meet again, Captain Steel. I hope the Royal Guard is paying you overtime for this."

“Wishful thinking, I guess. Hoping you’d found something better to do with your time than cause problems, Nureyev.”

“I’d like to think I’m more than just a common troublemaker.”

“My job would be much easier if you were  _ just _ a common troublemaker. Hand the royal jewels over.”

Nureyev laughed. “I’m  _ dreadfully _ sorry, but I’m afraid I’m not just going to give them to you because you asked nicely.”

“I’ve been told manners will get you everywhere. But, if you’re not going to give the jewellry back, and you’re not going to hand yourself over willingly, then I guess you’re not giving me a choice.” Juno drew his sword, and Nureyev raised an eyebrow.

"Oh, so that's how it is?" Nureyev said, still sounding as amused as ever. "Well, I hope you'll understand I can't just hand myself over to the Guard either, no matter how handsome the lady asking is." Nureyev took a few steps back, pulling his sword from its sheath.

The city around them sounded eerily silent in the calm before the storm, like the whole world had faded away, leaving just the two of them. Juno held his breath, and kept his eye on Nureyev, watching every micromotion as the thief regarded him with the same cocky look on his face.

Juno ran forwards, swinging at Nureyev. Nureyev stepped to the side almost casually and raised his sword to block the blow. Juno swung again, and again, backing Nureyev towards the end of the alleyway, while Nureyev blocked and dodged.

“What’s your—game here, Nureyev?”

“I have no idea what you mean,” he said, parrying another strike.

Juno looked up and around the alley. Did Nureyev have an escape route he didn’t know about? Why—

“—shit,” Juno hissed, blocking Nureyev’s blade at the very last second before it pierced his arm.

“You really should pay attention,” Nureyev said as Juno pushed his blade to the side. He made a retaliatory strike. Nureyev blocked it and, leaning in, blades still crossed, said “You’d almost think you didn’t want me to face justice for my crimes.”

“Of course I do—” Juno took another swing at Nureyev, which he dodged. He took another moment to glance around the alley, then refocused on Nureyev, blocking another blow. There was a shift in his demeanor— more focused, with his blocks and dodges looking more intentional than before. He was also, Juno quickly realised, circling him, aiming jabs and blows to Juno’s left side. However—

“People usually go after the blind side.”

“That seems a little unfair.”

Juno knew, of course, that that wasn’t the reason. He’d strained something in his left leg a few days ago, and it was still aching. Besides, he’d become pretty used to covering for the missing eye.

“Didn’t think  _ fair _ was your style.”

“Maybe you deserve special treatment.”

“Flattery isn’t going to get you anywhere.”

“It’s gotten me many places before—”

Juno made another heavy swing, and Nureyev barely dodged. It was, Juno supposed, an advantage of having fought Nureyev as many times as he had, that he knew how the thief fought. He was faster than Juno, sure, and if he gave him an opening Juno would be bleeding out on the floor in three seconds flat, but he’d been running from the guards for a while now, and head-on fights weren’t really his element. Juno could see the heavy rise and fall of his chest as they fought, the way his reactions were slowing while Juno’s swings were as strong as ever. Still. He couldn’t let Nureyev get a moment to catch his breath.

“I almost believe you want to capture me now—”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Well, if you wanted me dead, you’d be trying harder than this.”

“I don’t want you dead—”

“Why, thank you.”

“But I am going to turn you in.”

“That’s a shame. I have plans, so I’ll have to decline—” Juno swung slightly too wide, and Nureyev lunged, slashing Juno’s arm.

“Ouch—” Juno hissed.

“Well, looks like you—”

Juno swung the flat of his sword into Nureyev’s knees, then, before he could regain his balance, wrestled him to the ground, pinning him there.

“If you want to win, don’t just stand there after you get a hit in.”

“ _ Agh—”  _ Nureyev exhaled. Juno pushed Nureyev’s sword out of reach. “You know, if you ever wanted a career change, I’m sure there’s many people who would be delighted to have someone like you working for them.”

“Maybe I don’t want to work for a bunch of crooks.”

“You work for the Royal Guard. The only difference is that crime pays better, and you probably hurt a few less people.” He and Nureyev were so close together Juno couldn’t make out Nureyev’s expression.

“Doesn’t seem to be much of a support system if you’re here.”

“I work alone. Haven’t found anyone willing who can keep up with me yet.”

“Is that an offer?”

“It’s whatever you want it to be.”

Juno didn’t want to think about how inviting that sounded. So, he deflected. “Guessing this wasn’t part of the plan, huh?”

“What wasn’t part of the plan?”

“Losing. Getting caught.”

“Losing? I think that’s a matter of perspective.”

“What.... do you...”

Nureyev raised his hand to gently caress Juno’s cheek. “I think you know what I mean.”

Nureyev leaned up as he pulled Juno down into a kiss. Juno knew he could stop him, sit up or pin him back down to the ground. But he melted into the kiss, his pin on Nureyev weakening as he felt soft lips and sharp teeth.

Then, suddenly, he was flipped onto his back.

Nureyev stood up before Juno even realised what had happened. He picked his sword up, sheathed it, picked up Juno’s sword, and held it to his throat.

“I really am sorry, Juno, but I don’t have the time for a prison break. Places to be, people to see, I’m sure you understand.”

“Nureyev—”

“I’m sure this won’t be the last we see of each other. And again, I apologise for any inconvenience.” He stepped back and started walking down the alley. “My offer is still open, if you’re ever interested.”

He heard Nureyev put the sword down a few feet from the alleyway entrance, then footsteps slowly fading away to nothing. And deep down, he knew he couldn’t even find it within himself to be angry.   
  


**Author's Note:**

> comment or ill cry


End file.
